Because I am human

I am going to vent. Why? Because it is healthy not to hold it all in.

I am starting a new job on November 29th. It is a lateral move. I will still be in home services in the same office working for the same company, the only difference is that I will be doing Home Health instead of Hospice.
My attitude stinks right now because I really don't want to have to change jobs but I know it is the right move for my family. Right now I am working for Hospice PRN(as needed), no benefits. This has been a position where I have actually worked a set 32hours a week, but I have had a hospice case load and a home health case load for the past 6months or more. But because it is PRN, they (the big cheese) can say at any moment that they want me to drop my hours to 5 or up to 40 per week. Which makes a person a little uneasy when they don't know how much they could be working the following week.
With my new Home Health position I will be a SET 32 hours a week, with benefits , not PRN. This is a good move for my family. The reason I am upset is because everytime I get a job and get comfortable, I have to change. It is frustrating and I feel like I will never be able to be a GREAT social worker because I will never be in a position long enough to really become a PRO. For those of you that do not know, my first job after college was at a Geriatric Psych unit 40 minutes away from here, I stayed there for 3 months... and for many reasons changed jobs to work for the company I am with now, My first position here was with a state contract. When I was 7 months pregnant I was layed off due to budget cuts. My second position here ofcourse was hospice and I have been there 1 year TODAY. And now a nother change in two years. Lets count it -4- jobs in 2 years. Makes my track record look AWFUL. When before graduating college, I had the same job for 3+ years.
I keep praying about my attitude because #1 I am worried about working with my new peers because of very strong personalities. #2 I am worried about Social work burn out. #3 I have been angry and eating since I have decided to take this position.
Don't get me wrong. I don't mind doing the work for Home Health, its just that its a change and there is a lot of unknowns with this job but I know I need to trust in the Lord. I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed the serenity prayer and prayed over my attitude in the past month.- Alot.
I am angry to have to change. I am angry that I am never able to fully grasp a job before yet another change and I am angry that things just aren't going my way. (don't judge)
I know God has a plan and I need to trust him. Does that mean we have to like it ? :-/
Anyway- the whole purpose for this rant is because I had a meeting with my Hospice peers this morning. I had to hand over my patients (case load) and I could just bawl even thinking about it. This is not something I am thrilled about doing and in some ways I feel like a failure.