Flower Girls for hire...

Two adorable girls...Love flowers, great at throwing petals. And they look darling in poofy dresses ;)

We could even run down the aisle if you want to speed things up a bit....

lets not forget the "awwww's" you will hear when they walk down the aisle....

Great with direction....

and did I mention GREAT at throwing petals??...see......

Eventhough it was overcast pretty much all day, we spent the afternoon on the sunporch. ... We love it, it's what sold me on our house and it is what I will miss the day we sell it. We have TONS of peony bushes in our yard so I cut some of the flowers to put out on the sun porch and the girls wanted to play with them so I gave them their own. Miss Cupcake didn't want much to do with it..but Lilly pop LOVED them. She carried the flower around by the petals and it was a struggle to put them in the glass jar of water I set out for them. she would pull petals off and toss them. We had a lot of fun. Definitely a great weekend.

TTMT and a little update..

This weeks TTMT from Hickstionary is " Whats it like to live with your man?"
Whats it like to live with Brian?.....
Generally... when he is home the tv is on the History channel or sports. He is the only person I know that really believes in Ghosts, Bigfoot, sea monsters..etc.
He gets animated while telling stories about his day... and even does voice impressions..funny..esp when he impersonates me! hA!
He likes to sleep in unless we are on vacation or has something he wants to do.
This is a bad thing because I also like to sleep in... which is now 8:30...because of kiddos.
He cooks. I do not. He will clean...however...he will remind you (several times) that he cleaned something ...
He usually gets home after 10pm ... and stays up late to wear down...however... I usually see him snoozing on the couch by 11....
He does his best, he works hard, makes our two sweet girls laugh...and does a great job in a house where everyone...even the dog and cat... are female.
He is one of a kind and I wouldn't trade him in... most of the time... ;)
The wine:
Note to self... when purchasing alcohol be sure that you have all the tools you need to open things like a bottle opener for a wine bottle... so you don't have to ask your husband to pick up a crappy one at the local Walgreen's...only to have it not work and.... your hubby has to break the top of the bottle off so you can get a sip of the wine you bought so that you can go to sleep...only to not go to sleep ... as you were hoping...though... the wine was tasty... it didn't work ...
I am exhausted, falling behind on household duties... overwhelmed in my new job....anxious... trying to cut back on caffeine so I CAN SLEEP.
THE TWIRLY BIRDS:
diaper rashes...learning new words... trying to talk a lot. Will pretend they are choking so that the other one will run up and pat her on the back...(they have seen mommy do this a lot)
They have really been watching me.... for instance ..When they are done eating I let Daisy up from the basement and point at food on the floor so she will eat it...and "mop" for me.... and well Lillian has started to do this... its funny..
Joelle my sweet cupcake... she has very serious conversations with you...though you have no idea what she is saying.
Hoping to get a new camera soon... I am trying to decide between Nikon and Canon....
I have lots to share about my new job... it is very interesting! But I will share at another time when I am more awake... Have a great week!

I must really be showing my age....

because they didn't ask for this ............


When I was buying this.......

because I can't do this....

(PRECIOUS, I know :)

was it because I truly look older...... than 21?

don't you have to look over 40 for them not to card you?

When people usually guess my age they usually say 18.....once 22.

Or maybe its because they were in the cart??????

I would just like to clear the record. I don't drink. I haven't had a drink in... years. I don't even like to drink... not even socially...because I turn really...really red and its embarrassing to me and drinking is just not for me... once upon a time I did drink but not anymore.

I 've been having trouble sleeping. I have tried lots of things but nothing works... don't really want to get hooked on sleeping pills so... I decided to buy wine... a few sips will make me sleepy...right?

People always think that I am younger than I look... I have a baby face...which is good and bad.... good for when I look 60 at 80 and bad when I am 27 and a hospice patient tells me I look 12 :-/

While shopping in the alcohol department at Hy-Vee ... I didn't know what I was looking for...because I don't drink, I don't buy alcohol.....ever. So a Man that just so happened to have a taste testing boothe set up asked me what "type" I was looking for... I said " just something that will help me sleep.".... he said " ahh , twins...no wonder." my thought... "Oh buddy... actually..no, its because of other life issues.." but I just smiled and said "something sweet"... the man showed me something... let me take a tiny tiny sip and I grabbed a bottle thanked him and headed out to do the rest of my shopping.

When I get to the check out the clerk and bagger are oohing and ahhing over the girls.I have my ID out...because I figure I would need it. And I like to show it... my picture is good its when I was young, well rested, newlywed, tan, with long brown hair and nice bleached teeth... I look good... and if you were to see me now... its a far cry from what I looked like then...but I like to show my ID because I want people to see that once... I did have time to look decent. But to my shock and surprise... the clerk didn't ask for my ID! I couldn't believe it... walking out to the car I was laughing...trying to figure out if I should be offended or happy...

Does having children really age you that much??? Or is it the lack of sleep, poor diet and stress? Its a toss up, don't ya think?

I will let ya know if the wine works...wish me luck:)

Are you there God?- its me Tabitha.... again

Did you ever read that book "Are you there God, it's me , Margaret?" I did. As a preteen I loved it, but don't remember that much about it now, but I feel like every day... I am saying that to him.

I don't really have all of this time to blog but I am taking the time to clear my head before bed.
If you read my 3 previous posts its all about my story. Anyway...
I Have started having nightmares again.... yuck. I feel scared just like a child. Afraid to go to sleep. After I lost my job I wouldn't/ couldn't sleep because of the trauma that just happened ..but when I did I had nightmares... and yes I did see a counselor and she validated every feeling...so I at least know I am not crazy.. but those nightmares... I felt like I hadn't really been asleep because I was just reliving what happened to me over and over and C was laughing and I woke up hyperventilating and crying and... scarying Brian.

Starting this new job I was thinking "fresh start"...but Ofcourse... everyone knew about my accident.. because ofcourse it had to be on the news.. which... is very annoying.. but alot of people asked questions so I told the story... even the part I hate admiting... it was my fault, my error..something I do all the time... but it was obviously meant to happen.

Now, the nightmares are about the accident.... flash backs and not surviving,the what ifs--what if a semi or a car had been coming when we rolled into oncoming traffic? thoughts about being a horrible mother, about all the terrible things....
the rolling, glass shattering

The tires... the tires squeeling... something about the tires... they were brand new... I still feel like they played a part in it ....but only God knows the answer to that.


I can still taste the dirt and glass in my mouth... the glass crunching in my teeth.... I keep trying to remember if I put my hands back on the wheel after reaching for the girls when I felt the rolling..but I don't know if I did or not... When I look at this picture... I noticed the temperature is still set, my air freshener still there...the glass in my seat that ...yes ended up in my "seat" along with a huge bruise...the change from the ashtray... my change was tossed around the car... my water dripping from the ceiling and my sonic cup... I have no idea...

The girls' face as I reached back for them when I could feel the car rock like a boat..and knew it was going to roll... me screaming "HELP US HELP US, OH GOD MY BABIES!!!"... thinking I was going to die... honestly I thought I would never see my girls alive again or I was going to die... I don't know if I blacked out or closed my eyes but when the car stopped...I was really disoriented...I just kept screaming " I have two babies I have two babies!"
When I finally crawled out of the passenger side to get to the girls they were crying... just like when they were born... it was a sound I listened for closely... Joelle's face was white as a sheet... which scared me but.... I THINK I scared her more...

This side rolled first...drivers side. Lillian was behind me... you can't see it but the glass is all spider webbed on both of our windows..not broken. how lucky....no I correct myself... How Godly was that?

I am hoping that I will just be able to move past all of this negative stuff... because as you have read... I can be pretty negative and throw AWESOME pity parties for myself...but I look and post the pictures again... to remind myself... I am lucky. I am blessed. God was there.... angels were there I know it. I could feel them... one of the witness' said it himself... so I can't start letting petty things get to me... God has me here, he has a plan..

I am just praying for a better week this week. Hoping for nomore nightmares, to sleep without medication, to be positive in my new job where everyone but my office buddy "K" is negative. She really is so sweet but we were told last week they are splitting us up... I cried... because I am just THAT emotional these days but also because she was my light there... she helped me survive the first week!

So heres to a better week for all of us. for the suffering, for the depressed, for the angry, for the dying, for the sad, for the anxious, for the happy care free people. May this week be wonderful. May all of us have something to celebrate.

Part 3- and the end of a dream

God was working. I was working. Brian was feeling back to normal and we were new parents to twins. Things were great. Keep reading... I promise I get to the point.


I was trained in Hospice... but the training honestly...wasn't the best because I was trained by the person with the least experience and most opinions and questionable acts. But I put a smile on my face, sucked it up and got through it and ended up getting my caseload really early. Though I didn't know much about what I was doing, I was all about learning, and LOVED the work. Hospice was great, the people were great, life was GREAT.

Then along came C. Remember her? My friend? Well keep reading.
C asked if I could cross train again in Home Health because she was just "swamped" and really could use my help. I didn't mind helping and remember- I liked C and home health. Sure I will cross train again while I am still training in hospice... because it will help you out and help me to reach my goals of moving up and doing a good job. So it was set up to cross train with C and fill in in home health while I had my own caseload in Hospice. My hospice co-workers said it would just be too much and deep down I knew it would but I really wanted to show that I was a good worker and worth keeping past PRN. So while training for both positions one morning I sat down with my hospice coworkers to chat in our usual morning meeting... C came around the corner and just started YELLING at me in front of everyone. I coward like a child and I was almost in tears but I told her I would be at her desk to help her soon. When she walked away, my trainer and I went to see my hospice boss Jim.... told him what happened and he agreed that C was difficult to handle and along with everyone else warned me about her. Nothing changed. I continued to do both hospice and home health and had to do Home health work often because the nurses told me they preferred me- not to brag but you would just have to know C... she was hateful, mean and degrading to everyone except her close friend Mary. I saw a total different side of her than when I was a student. I did what I was supposed to do and didnt ask her any questions... eventhough I knew what she did was wrong. I received an award of Exellence from Teresa-the big boss for doing both positions so well. I was excited and honored.
She would put me down, talk down to me , order me around like she was a drill Sargent... make rude comments about Brian and where he worked... why? good question... I never figured that out... I think its because I was content in my marriage and she had been divorced because her ex didn't make enough money-her words. But lucky for her she found a doctor....whom she was about to marry. So a year goes by, hospice is great but the census(the numbers) were dropping...yes people die but we just weren't getting very many referrals. People were going with our competitors. SO by October 2010 I was approached by Cindy and told a FULL time secure position was going to be opening in home health doing Home health, palliative care and hospital liaison. I didn't really want to leave hospice because I LOVED it and I told her I was hesitant to do so....well Teresa- remember her - the big boss? Well she told me my hours were going to be going down in Hospice because of the census and asked me to apply for the Home Health job because I would be great at it and work great as a team with C and Mary. I said I would think about it.
I didn't want to do it, everything in me wanted to just stay in Hospice and let my hours drop then worry. I was hesitant to work with C because she was so mean- seriously and because the things she did to her patients... like doing nothing or not going to visit them like we should- I didn't agree with that.
C kept following up with me ... I finally told her I was hesitant because I loved what I was doing and she said" well I dont know why we created this position when you dont even want it... I mean why have it?!- in a very condescending" I got this position FOR YOU" voice.
So despite my bad feelings. I applied for the job because yes I needed full time work- I had a family... and afterall-- she lead me to believe they created the job for me... it would be awful for me not to take it. I interviewed. I got the job. I started end of November 2010.
My nightmare was just beginning. My training was horrible. I was set up to do things so her and mary could laugh at me when I didn't know how to do something or felt uncomfortable doing. I was told to " get some balls" I was talked down to, comments were made about my hair, my clothes... etc... yeah sounds like high school right!- I cried on my lunch breaks and to my old co workers, I cried at home to Brian. Brian even experienced her attitude when she came to his work place and showed her colors. If you don't know her... some of this may be hard to picture but ... she was a bully. She didnt visit her patients she pushed them off on me...which was fine because I LOVED seeing the patients. She didnt really train me with the Liaison piece of the job and she didnt do anything in Palliative care so she didnt train me with that either. I was not set up for success, I was set up to be C's punching bag and secretary to do the work she didnt want to do so she could leave at noon everyday... and she did.
Finally one day. I had enough. While in tears I went to my boss(Teresa's) secretary to schedule an appointment with my boss. (By this time it was January.) My boss was not available. The secretary said to me " is it C?"- off the record?" I said "yes" she said " oh tabitha, everyone knows, Teresa knows how she is, leave a voice mail because C will be in Teresa's office if she knows you are here." So I left a voicemail with my boss, and tried to schedule, she did not call me back or anything, I was off the next day which was a Wednesday. On Thursday the first thing I did was go to Teresa's office to talk to her and she "was not available" so I went to sit down.. 2 seconds later C and Mary come around and corner me in my cubicle. They start asking me questions and talking down to me and I firmly said " I don't feel comfortable with this, I would like to have a boss present." Mind you my boss never returned a call or a message. So Mary is on the phone and gets an appointment with Teresa within 5 minutes(less than 10 minutes after I tried to get a meeting). We go into the office and I just start crying then I apologize for crying and just start laying it all out there, everything that had been said etc. At first, before I said C's name... I just kept saying she does this and kept things general. Teresa at first said oh Tabitha noone thinks those things of you then when I said it was C... the attitude changed. The three of them, Mary, Teresa,C ganged up on me. Teresa made me apologize but not C. It was awful. I was traumatized. After everything... what little training I was getting was completely stopped. ...C and mary would make up excuses and I was too scared to go above Teresa's head after everything that had happened the last time I stood up for myself. Stupid me didn't realize the three of them were friends and C was married to a Doctor... anyway... so I continued to be pleasant and just acted as if nothing happened and ate their mean attitude everyday. I put up with the whispers and snickers... then on FRIDAY March 4th (when everything bad happens) I was pulled into the office by Teresa and HR rep and told that I didn't pass my training with C. I was told I was not a good fit for the team-which that part I don't argu because they just wanted to take advantage of me) and I was told ....get ready for this... (I almost want to laugh)... THAT I COULDN'T MULTITASK!!- are you kidding me.. I worked both jobs for how long? God gave me twins...obviously he disagrees with them. I was told that the company was letting me go because of this. WHAT!
I began to hyperventilate, almost throw up, cry and then I became upset. I said that I didn't agree with any of it and this was all because I turned C in to Teresa for Bullying. I was asked by both of them to take this job and suddenly... I am not fit for the job? WHAT!? I stood up for myself, in a very professional way, I refused to sign anything.... they knew they didn't have grounds because for everything they said I had a counter. They knew what they were doing was wrong and they acted nervous. As I packed up my desk all I could think is what my sister had told me weeks earlier when I was in the battle " the lord will fight for you and you have only to be silent."I left with my tail between my legs and a burning in my throat and tears in my eyes, my stomach felt relief, my heart broken, my mind still trying to piece it together, I carried my boxes alone in one trip in the rain to my car. Shaking.
Brian was home with the girls, I cried to him as I told him what happened. He screamed lawsuit, I screamed heartache and worry. The company tried to deny my unemployment but I was smart... I kept records, and remember that AWARD OF EXELLENCE... I kept it, I kept the emails... all of it. I was approved for unemployment. I found a new job... not where I really want to be but its a job. My dream with that company has slightly faded because my heart is so broken. ALL of my coworkers except mary,c and teresa have rallied around me with nothing but support and love. They all know the truth without me opening my mouth- thats telling isn't it?.... its sad to me that people like that can hurt people and go on. I am not the first person C has done this to and I know I wont be the last...she has power. but one day she will face our God. So, I do nothing. I don't sue, I don't file a grievance because everytime I try there is a road block so I think God is saying... don't do it. I am still eligible for employment there however, Teresa said not in HOME SERVICES (Hospice, or Home Health) which is where I love to be. But recently, Teresa was DEMOTED. So the Lord is again at work and I wait for his plan. I tell my story to those important to me and on here because not many people read this but I need to get it out. Thinking about it brings up the anger again but I truly believe God was saving me from the oppressive hurtful environment with C. I believe that he has a bigger plan for me. I am still healing and somedays I forgive them... somedays I don't... its a process... because no matter what you think about someone... NOONE deserves to be treated this way. I don't know if I will ever go back to that company. ... even if Teresa and C are gone because Teresa is on her way out... and C... who knows. This is just part of my story... Im not writing it... God is. I just wait for guidance.

MY story PART 2 sugar and spice. and God makes it Nice.

Every thing was great until well. January 2009. Those of us that had all left our jobs to take out on this new adventure with HCA were told that our new jobs were in Jeopardy because it was an election year and the new governor could AXE the program at ANY TIME.


Though we were all nervous we were told there was nothing to worry about and reassured that it would all be fine. We continued to train and meet and do what we were supposed to do which - changed on a daily basis. Eventhough I didn't care for sitting in my cubicle all day on the phone with people rather than being out in the field doing real SOCIAL WORK, I was determined to show that I was dedicated eventhough the job was HORRIBLE, I wanted to work for this company so bad. The benefits were AWESOME and the pay was great for a social worker.


C visited my cubicle often to chat because hers was on the other side of the building and we were still "friends." People would whisper about her and then eventually asked me if I know such and such gossip about her... I ignored it or said thats not true because she is "not like that" or " she is a good person"...(Keep that in mind for the rest of the story)


By the beginning of February I had discovered I was pregnant. Brian was having health issues and our lives were stressful. I was very very sick and tired because of the pregnancy and Brian had made several trips to the ER and spent a week in the hospital . It was a very stressful time and the last thing I wanted to think about was changing jobs. I continued to be sick, so did Brian, and I continued to plan my trip to Maine with my girlfriends.


The days continued to be stressful and people started to "get off the bus" " jump ship" or whatever you want to call it because they had no faith in the job or the governor to keep the contract and they needed secure employment. I was alerted and asked to apply for a job in another part of the company.


By Mid March I thought something was very wrong with the pregnancy, I was so sick and couldnt keep a single thing down. I tried everything for the nausea, nothing worked. So an emergency OB appointment was made. When we arrived they said that we would go in for an ultra sound... fearing the worst ... we walked in and they did the routine putting the cold gel on my stomach. The tech rolled the instrument around on my belly and said... " I know why you have been so sick".... (I was thinking something bad...) I said "why??"...tech " Because theres two in there! - see" I said " shut- up"- and looked at the screen...sure enough two bouncing gummy bears. Appeared to be healthy and explanation to the sickness.... We were scared and excited but life was to go on....


Brians health continued to get worse, several doctors appointments and conversations with eachother. I don't even remember all of it because it was such a stressful time... anyway...


The end of May came and so did the trip with my girl friends. Brian assured me it was ok to go and I wasn't quite that big yet and was ok'd to fly. I was excited because we were going to find out the sex the monday after I got home from the trip. Maine was pretty but we were ready to get back home by the end of the trip because the weather was rainy and yucky. I got back home and had a horrible cold. ...


Called in sick to work that monday and went to my ultrasound even though I wasn't feeling very well. We found out we were having girls and we were excited. When I told C it was girls she groaned and told me how "horrible" that would be. My feelings were hurt but at that point I was blinded and thought she was nice... . KEEP THIS IN MIND.


The work week flew by and that FRIDAY (everything bad happens on a FRIDAY) we were told that the state (governor) decided not to keep the contract and we were going to lose our jobs. I was devastated and scared, I bawled along with others, some began looking for jobs, some already had new jobs they were waiting to start and some were going back to the job they came from within the company.


As the weeks went by I continued to look for jobs within the company and outside of the company. Our last day with the company was to be July 17th for those of us that didn't find anything within. Our HR rep was horrible and offered me a job in the cafeteria or lifting boxes....because -"there just weren't any other openings"OBVIOUS JOBS that I was not able to do in my condition... not only was I sick, I was huge and I had a high risk pregnancy.


So, I filed for unemployment , waddled and embarrassed my way through interviews, cried and cried. Brian's health was still a mystery and we scheduled a heart procedure at the end of July. I stopped going to church. I was angry with God, unable to enjoy my pregnancy due to being sick - vomiting or nausiated all the time even with Zofran...(medication) and because of the worries we had with Brian... I had NO JOY in life. I was angry with the HCA for laying me off at 71/2 months pregnant with twins, and a very sick husband.


My insurance with the company was to end on September 14th but I wasn't due until October. Life was beyond stressful.


Eventually at my 34week check (September 10th) I was told I had SEVERE pre-eclampsia. I spent one night in the local hospital the next day (September 11)I was taken to KC via ambulance to have the girls at a more equipped hospital. Because my condition was considered "severe" I was told I would not be induced, I would have a C-section. Eventhough I was bitter about my situation and angry with God, I felt at Peace. I just knew things would be ok. The girls were born and were healthy. They had to spend about 3 weeks in the NICU and we brought them home. GOD really showed up with their birth because of them being early and because they were born 3 days before my insurance ended and I was dischared on September 14th from the hospital.... the end of insurance but we were all able to go on Brian's.


We were in Love but I still had the stress that my unemployment would end. Stressed. I continued to look for jobs and apply. The home health nurses came to see the girls and I knew all of them because I had previously worked with them. One told me that they were hiring for a PRN social worker in the Hospice department... I told her I was interested, she told HER boss- Teresa. C also contacted me after I had the girls and also told Teresa I was interested in the job that was at HCA in Hospice.


Without submiting my RESUME, Teresa called me for an interview.When the girls were 6 weeks old I interviewed for the job. I started my job at "HCA" in Hospice when the girls were 9 weeks old NOVEMBER 16 2009. Even though the job was PRN I was a standard 32 hours per week because the census was high, but I only had to work 4 days a week and I was making $3 more an hour than before-perfect for our family. I was sad about leaving the girls but excited to be able to work and provide more for my family. Things were looking up and I knew God was at work.....

The story PART 1

ok. I think it is time to share the happenings but in order for anyone to understand... I have to start from the very beginning.... and even then anyone that does not know those involved...may not believe me but that is ok. God has the bigger picture.

Back in the spring of 2008, I was in my last semester of the social work program. I had a practicum or for those of you that don't know what that is...an internship-unpaid. I was actually able to choose where I wanted to be and I chose the local large health care agency we'll call( HCA) for short which will rename nameless. Just in case of a lawsuit.... anyway. I was really excited because I knew that I had a really good chance of getting on with the company after graduation if they thought I did a good job and if there was an opening.
I did my practicum with two different supervisors... "S "and "C". S was with Care management and C was with Home Health. I loved my practicum but really clicked with C, though she was about 20 years older than me - we sort of became professional friends. Things went really well and I loved the Home health part of the practicum and didn't care much for the other part but that's here nor there.
After Graduation HCA did not have ANY openings for a social worker... so disappointing to me but I knew that within the next year they would have openings. So I spent my summer working at Starbucks and began to get discouraged as I continued to look for "big girl jobs." C would call or text me to check in every now and then and we stayed in touch... eventually I even started to do volunteer work for her ...in hopes of getting a job.. FINALLY after 3 long months of searching and being stressed out, I got a call for an interview.... but not with HCA.
The interview was for a social worker position at a local geriatric psych unit. The interview went well and I was eventually offered the job... I accepted... even though I had to drive an hour round trip each day, I was also carpooling.
The Geriatric Psych unit was a great job, however, the previous social worker trained me... because she had taken the marketing position. My boss seemed to prefer the "MICRO management" style right down to the sound your shoes made on the floor.Because it was a small town business... things like that are allowed to happen so... you can pretty much guess what happened.. That social worker... did not set me up for success at all. I did a lot of guessing and re work but I did my best and I LOVED my patients. After working there a few months I started noticing that not everyone enjoyed my bubbly attitude , my happy personality and most of all... the changes I was making- for the better. - Not huge changes... just process improvement...very minor. I continued with my positive attitude at work and tried to smooth things over with Panera atleast once a week. Nothing was good enough, I didn't smoke - I was an outcast, I didn't eat 15lbs of bacon every morning from the cafeteria, I didn't participate in their gossip, I just listened...which is also BAD.
One day the lady I carpooled with started telling me all of these horrible things that were going on during the night shift. I was horrified and saddened because I TRULY loved the patients. I asked why noone reported it and was told that they were all afraid to lose their jobs. Because I am a mandated reporter, I am to report these issues...however, I had never witnessed these things first hand. The job continued then one day one of the day nurses yelled at me because I had shut my office door. ... she was not in charge of me and there was no rule about it, I said I am sorry but I didn't see it as a big deal... and things went hush from there.
About a week later C called me- there was a position open at HCA..working case management with a state contract .I was ecstatic because I was tired of the drama and small town issues of the current job even though I really loved the job. I applied for the job and interviewed.
About a week later I was offered the job and prayed and accepted the job even with a slight pay cut. I don't think I really listened to what God really wanted because I had my mind made up that I wanted out of where I was.... because of all the gossip and negativity... I had had enough of that in my life and definitely didn't want to have to deal with more.
The following week I gave my notice and EVERYONE was shocked. The nurse that yelled at me apologized, my boss asked why and I said that I was taking the job to better myself and so I wouldn't have to commute. During the car ride home the gal that carpooled with me was angry, I could feel the tension the moment we got into the car. Finally she said "well are you going to turn us in?" She was refering to all of the illegal things that were happening in the evening and all the accusations being made against the night nurses. I told her that "I cannot do that___, I cannot mess with peoples lives like that, I have never witnessed anything so I have no proof that it happened and DSS doesn't just believe gossip." The woman said "wow, I can't believe you won't do it, I was hoping you would." I said " maybe you should." The car was quiet and the last two weeks were as well. On my last day with the company, one of my patients came back and requested records... apparently he was in a lawsuit with them. ANYWAY... THAT WAS TMI FOR THAT JOB...
December 1 2008 I started my new job at HCA and I was SO EXCITED, I had reached goal number 1(working there) and could contemplate goal #2(going to get my masters) because the company would pay for part of extra schooling. Things were awesome until.....

I'll take it.

90 degree temperatures! Sunshine. GOOD office buddies. DELISH cupcakes. Blue eyed twins. LIFE.
THE GOOD AND BAD.
CUPCAKES for Mothers day from my FAVORITE bakery.

a blue eye that I just happened to get a picture of with my iphone...with a better camera you could see the sky. They have the prettiest eyes and longest eyelashes...that I cannot take credit for...either one.

It's warm..actually its HOT here. We skipped spring and headed straight for SUMMER.

with Barbie sunglasses and cold drinks...

a *new to me* car....that looks just like my old one on the inside....minus a few pockets...and a little bit LESS space... oh ...BUT -plus the leather seats I DESPERATELY wanted.

Our Summer walks have began... and this year we have extra eyes watching us.....(I like to think she is admiring me...like a dog runner in Alaska..except... I have a stroller and Labradoodle )

you can barely see him/her but she/he is a *beautiful*fluffy* quiet*Husky with one blue eye...she/he was quiet as a mouse and didn't make a peep, she just carefully gazed at us with her paws over the fence and still as a statue she watched ...I wouldn't have noticed her/him if I wouldn't have glanced his/her way...(she/he?) Beautiful..whatever the sex..I wish I had my camera because this picture doesn't show its beauty.

Lillian (Lilly Pop, Lilly, Lilly pie, Sissy) LOVES her sunglasses. She will wear them all day. Which is funny and cute...and sweet... SIGH... seriously... we were walking and people driving by were nearly stopping in the street to look at the girls...and when I say girls... I mean Daisy too... (I decided to brave it and begin walking her with us again...which I tie her to the stroller so that helps a little)

notice....the helicopter in her hand... it coasted down from a tree as we were walking under it and she caught it and saved it... held on to it like it was gold for awhile...then safely tucked it in her cup holder when we got home.


*Yup WE are show stoppers... its official.

All photos courtesy of my iphone... it doesn't do soo bad but I am still searching for the PERFECT camera.... I will have to get one soon because we have a special vacation coming up in June.

She chose Orange

Joelle my sweet little "cupcake" ate. a. crayon. Orange seems to be the color of choice.... just.because.
I can't get her to eat a carrot or really much of anything but she seems to enjoy that waxy texture of a crayon... thank you Lord, that they are "non toxic". Even though she was gagging and throwing up, I stuck my finger in her mouth and continued to make her throw up until I saw a different color other than Orange...
I don't know what the deal is really... she just keeps eating random things... pieces of dirt, tiny rocks that get stuck in your shoe, those plastic things that hold the price tags on your shirt...she's not really picky about eating anything unless it really is supposed to be EDIBLE!
I really thought we were past this stage like after 9 months or so... but no, we apparently just started it to add extra issues to life.
We had to throw away her Mickey mouse coloring book...and Lilly pop saw me do that and tried to throw hers away too thinking..that she had to as well I guess..
SO it is 19:33 or 7:33 pm and my children are in bed.

And just incase you were wondering.... it was on my offwhite carpet, not the hardwoods, not the linolium ... my carpet. OH. JOY. .... and really Resolve... doesn't do the best job.. so I guess I will have to have them professionally cleaned...$$$

This post was going to be about all the cute things they have been doing lately but I am so exhausted my brain isn't doing the best job recalling everything.... so I will do my best...

Joelle will say "grpa" (grandpa) to my dad on the phone ...which just tickles me pink!
Lillian is oh so smart... she can figure anything out in 2 minutes... any toy, phone.. anything.
THey both LOVE their barbie sunglasses...can't wait to get a camera so you can see the cuteness for yourself. They both love having jobs of throwing things away or putting dirty clothes in the hamper.. this is a personal favorite ;)
They are both really trying to talk and will watch your mouth and try to repeat things. so...careful what you say.
Well, I am going to end there... otherwise I will get off on a tangent of other things... til next time ... and stay away from orange crayons!