before bed word vomit

I am really working on my attitude. I promise. I haven't complained all weekend. But tonight. I have jitters. I start the new(job I have been doing for 6mo) job tomorrow. I am scared. I am worried. Seriously- this is ridiculous. I am a big 27 year old girl. I am a Momma...which...aren't momma's supposed to be 100% in control at all times?...thats what I always thought. Well anyway, this momma is scared! Not of the job. The job I can do and enjoy doing. It's the person. I am afraid of her. Why am I giving someone else this much power ??? It's ridiculous..it's immature...but I can't help it.
I keep going over battle scenes in my head... ya know.. the ones where your like.. "if she does this to me again I am going to say this to her" and you think of these powerful things to say..but then it happens again... and you say nothing. You walk away with your tail between your legs and think about the movie Mean Girls... ugg!!!!
I just hope and pray tomorrow goes well. I hope I can get the stuff done that I need to finish up with out confrontation. I hope I can get organized in this new position(because that is always one of my downfalls). I hope I can stand up for myself if I need to. I hope I can make it through the day with out crying... cause last week I was 3 for 3.. worked 3 days Cried...for 3 days.
God has so many more important things that he needs to worry about , so I hate to ask him for help with this.. but I have to because without my faith in him... I don't think I will pass this test.
Well, I am off to shower so I can calm down before bed... hoping for a good tomorrow.
Night all!